1. You will stop using the wife's eyebrow tweezers to force
feed pinkies, or at least you will let her know!
2. You will defrost rats over night or in hot water and discontinue
using the Microwave for that purpose. Hiding the smell of singed
fur by spraying air freshener around claiming you are covering
up the dogs farts!
3. You will increase your exercise levels
by rounding up all escapee crickets and prevent them migrating
through out the house. Especially to
the underwear drawer, where your unsuspecting partner had
a fright when rummaging for a thong at 6am!
4. You will not forget the crickets are
at the sorting office for collection! You only remembered
when you saw the newspaper article " Chaos
as depot fumigated".
5. You acknowledge that cage locks have been invented! And
if you want to live you will use them, they are not just for
6. You will introduce yourself to the new
neighbours, before you get a chance to Hear " call
999 there is a green alien up the tree" Ref
no 5 above.
7. You will resist the urge to take the
mickey out of 'Anaconda' when watching at a friends
house because it is their favourite film.
8. You will not feed chocolate cover crickets
to the brat across the road however Tempting, he probably
eats live worms and grasshoppers anyway.
9. You will remove the tide mark and disinfect
the bathe after the Bosc has had a Soak and done what Boscs
do best whilst soaking.
10. You will try to keep hatchling feeding
records up to date, and not frantically write them out under
a table at a Trade Show.