New Year Resolutions for the Herpetologist | Back to Caresheet Index |
New Year Resolutions for the Herpetologist

1. You will stop using the wife's eyebrow tweezers to force feed pinkies, or at least you will let her know!

2. You will defrost rats over night or in hot water and discontinue using the Microwave for that purpose. Hiding the smell of singed fur by spraying air freshener around claiming you are covering up the dogs farts!

3. You will increase your exercise levels by rounding up all escapee crickets and prevent them migrating through out the house. Especially to the underwear drawer, where your unsuspecting partner had a fright when rummaging for a thong at 6am!

4. You will not forget the crickets are at the sorting office for collection! You only remembered when you saw the newspaper article " Chaos as depot fumigated".

5. You acknowledge that cage locks have been invented! And if you want to live you will use them, they are not just for decoration.

6. You will introduce yourself to the new neighbours, before you get a chance to  Hear " call 999 there is a green alien up the tree" Ref no 5 above.

7. You will resist the urge to take the mickey out of 'Anaconda' when  watching at a friends house because it is their favourite film.

8. You will not feed chocolate cover crickets to the brat across the road however Tempting, he probably eats live worms and grasshoppers anyway.

9. You will remove the tide mark and disinfect the bathe after the Bosc has had a Soak and done what Boscs do best whilst soaking.

10. You will try to keep hatchling feeding records up to date, and not frantically write them out under a table at a Trade Show.

. All resolutions are meant to be taken in fun and are in no way bare any resemblance to people or occurrence within PRAS. KH